Bullying is a social disease that has become a problem in society, especially for kids and teenagers. Rap icon Tupac in a song said “the hate you give little infants messes up society.”. A lot of kids who get bullied grow up to become adults with low self-esteem and unhealthy mental health, thereby breeding traumatized individuals. Bullying does not only occur among kids or teenagers but also among adults. It also has long-lasting effects on the victim’s mental health and self-esteem.
What is bullying?
There are various definitions of bullying out there, but the most accepted definition by many mental health professionals is that bullying is an unwanted physical or verbal aggression directed at a specific person, repeated over a long period of time, involves an imbalance of power, and acts to exclude the victim from a group.
Most of the time, the bully repeatedly uses his or her higher social status to exert power and hurt the victim. Whenever harassment, threats, gossiping, name-calling, or other forms of intimidation goes from being done in person to emails, social media, blogs, chat rooms, etc., it is then referred to as bullying or online bullying.
A lot of people, if asked about where bullying takes place, will probably say in a school between students, but it can also happen at work and include aggressive behaviours, like that colleague of yours who always turns off the AC in your office just to get under your nerves. That’s another form of bullying. So yes, bullying can happen to you as an adult.
Types of Bullying
There are different types of bullying:
- Verbal Bullying – This is the use of words with an intent to harm others by name-calling, insults, harsh teasing, making threats, mimicking, taunting, and making sexual or bigoted comments.
- Physical Bullying – This involves kicking, pushing, hitting, pinching, or attacking others while causing physical pain to them.
- Reactive Bullying – This is a case where the bullied becomes the bully by picking on others.
- Relational Bullying – This deals with excluding someone from a peer group, usually through spreading rumours, verbal threats, or any form of intimidation.
Effects of bullying on person self-esteem and mental health
The victims of bullying suffer blows to their self-esteem and mental health. The effects can be very devastating to one’s self-esteem and mental health long after the bullying stops. People who suffer years of torment and torture are likely to exhibit even more severe self-esteem and mental health issues. It’s important to know the effects of bullying on a person so as to know how to handle it.
- Loss of confidence – Bullying causes one to lose confidence in one’s self. It leads to self-doubt and fear. One may feel as if he or she is not good enough, therefore, should not bother trying out new things or leaving their comfort zone.
- Isolation – A damaged self-esteem leads to isolation, the urge to always want to be alone surfaces which stems from low self-esteem. The victims choose to avoid friends and family altogether, which can lead to deeper issues.
- Self-criticism – This feeling usually comes up after getting belittled about something, which the victim later comes to believe is true. If they are being belittled over something they can’t change, like their skin, weight, height, colour, or other physical attributes, it becomes even more damaging to their self-esteem. They usually believe that they are less of a human being and probably deserve the hate or bullying they are getting.
- Depression – This occurs after a prolonged period of feeling sadness, torment, and torture from experiencing bullying. Some studies have shown that the consequences of childhood bullying, including depression, can persist even 40 years after the bullying occurred. Depression that results from bullying can cause a wide range of symptoms.
- Anxiety – This is a constant feeling of fear due to one’s experience with bullies.
- Suicidal Thoughts – This often occurs when the experience with bullies has damaged both the self-esteem and mental health of the victims severely. The feeling of taking their lives surfaces because they feel alone and tired of the situation.
When one is bullied, they experience a psychological and emotional impact that does not just go away. One can still have the effects even if the bullying happened 40 or 50 years ago. The first step to healing from such an experience is to first accept what has happened to you, then make healing your priority. Take time to take care of yourself and see a counsellor about your experience. If your child is the one experiencing it, show them love and teach them how to defend themselves, help them reframe their thinking, and reclaim control over their lives.
There are a few steps to healing from the effects of bullying:
- Acknowledge Bullying in Your Past
- Prioritize Your Health and Recovery
- Reclaim Control
- Recognize Your Value and Worth
- Use Some Medication Like Flower ac to Cope with Mental Trauma
- Avoid Isolating Yourself
- Seek Trauma Support
- Focus on Personal Growth
In a nutshell, it may take some time for someone to come out of mental stress. So be patient with yourself. With a little hard work, though, you will be well on your way to a healthier way of thinking.
